It rained a bunch this morning. Not as much as the other night, when I thought it was the end of the world, and it sounded like there was lightning striking my backyard, but enough. Enough to put me into the gray area.

The digging in my garden has been perpetrated by a feline. I didn’t get it, until the neighbors had been in my yard 4 times looking for a cat. Different cats, depending on which neighbor, but all from the same house. Then I saw the footprints, and the little lumps that appeared next to the discarded bean sprouts. The violence that is welling up in me is not pleasant.

I’ve read up on what to do to deter cats from using your garden as a litter box. I can report that sprinkling cayenne doesn’t do a thing. Yesterday I walked to Starbuck’s and picked up about 6 pounds of coffee grounds, having read that the smell would deter cats. I spread it on all the spots in the garden that are currently foliage-free, but where I have planted seeds that are earnestly trying to come up, with no help from the digging, scratching, and burying. This morning, I went out to discover fresh prints, and more dug-up bean sprouts. I’m not feeling charitable.

I kind of hate cats. I should rephrase that. I kind of hate outdoor cats who come in my garden and destroy all my work while simultaneously introducing pathogens into my family’s food supply. They may be the same cats who went into the neighbor’s yard and ate the baby bunnies that lived in a burrow under the lawn. In which case, maybe they saved my lettuces and carrots. But still.

Next, I’m going to try putting plastic forks, tines up, in the garden so there’s no place for pussyfooting. Any other ideas?