I hate housework. Yes, I hate it more than almost anything else. Which sucks, because I love being in a clean and orderly space. I think the real reason I hate it is because I’m lazy. So here is my top 10 things I hate to do around the house.
1. Making beds. I hate this bad enough that I’ve been known to let it go for a couple of months without changing the sheets. All right, I was pregnant and useless at the time, but even now, I usually don’t get it done on a weekly basis. Especially with the boys’ loft bed, for which I must contort myself into acrobatic postures just to reach the corners from below, because I don’t trust the thing enough to climb up and do it from above. Luckily, Zeeb is still young enough that the wetting the bed and puking in the bed is pretty good incentive to get it done on a semi-regular basis. And Calvin is just about big enough to do it himself.
2. Cleaning around the toilet. Because just so much yuck can find it’s way down there, and it’s inevitably so awkward trying to reach it. I got no friends in low places.
3. Picking up toys. All right, all right. I know my kids should be doing this, but there’s just always a sea of toys left in their wake, so I end up having to do it a lot too.
4. Cleaning up after I cook. So Derek made me a promise when we were engaged that if I would do the cooking, he would do the dishes. Except that when I cook, it looks as though a hurricane has swept through the kitchen, and sometimes the surrounding rooms, and the piles of dishes and spices and canisters and bags and plastic containers and knives and garbage and cookbooks and spills and spatters and pans and blenders and everything are just too much to bear. I need me a genie who can nod her head and make it all magically disappear.
5. Putting away laundry. The folding is never that much of a problem, because I can always submit to my guilty pleasure and watch some TV or a movie while folding. But the putting away is nearly impossible. Sometimes I’m forced to put things away because I’ve run out of baskets and buckets and bins to put the freshly cleaned laundry in. Or because Calvin can’t find one of his 27 pairs of socks.
6. Vindow Vashing. I was never a good vindow vasher. It always seems so pointless, because two seconds after I vash them, there are tiny hand prints on them.
7. Clearing off the piano. What can I possibly mean by that? Well, Derek and I have this incurable inability to not put every paper, book, game, puzzle, toy, pen, key, junk mail, screwdriver, camera, DVD, and basket full of folded laundry on top of my poor piano cum table. And the idea of sorting it all is enough to make me flee in a panic.
8. Clear the table for dinner. Yes, it always needs to be cleared of junk (see #7) before we can even sit down to dinner. And sometimes all we do is push it to one side. I know, we suck.
9. I can’t believe it. Are there really only 8 things I hate doing? I’ll have to think about this for a few more hours. I’m sure I can come up with two more.