July 2008


Calvin insisted on harvesting today.

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He said we’ll have the best garden dinner ever. Better than Thanksgiving.

1. Convertible double bike trailer/stroller, for when school starts. I will be taking one child to first grade in the mornings, taking another to preschool at noon, and picking both up in the afternoon, all with the third in tow as well. I want to be able to do it fairly quickly, and without the use of a motorized vehicle, and with a minimum of complaining, and with some sort of protection from the elements for the smaller folk.

2. Ipod. I think I’m finally ready to start listening to interesting things on a regular basis, especially while I’m on my morning walk/run. I checked out a beginning gaelic book and CD from the library, and remembered I still haven’t finished my Greek title. Also, people keep recommending podcasts that I don’t really have access to. (For reasons of ineptitude, time constraints, retardedness, etc.)

3. Doors. Our wonderful home has some door issues. For instance, in the dead of winter, I was trekking into the frozen void of the basement when I passed the side door. I felt a blast of sub-zero temperatures pelting me from the wide open crack where the door doesn’t quite meet the frame. There may have been snowflakes. That door also has a handy spring-loaded night lock, a tongue that faces the wrong direction, and it opens inward onto the miniature stair landing, making an exit from said door an two-handed event that is often accompanied by expletives unbecoming of a lady. Also, the front door decided to lock us in the house a few months ago. We finally managed to remove the aged mortise lock, to find that the metal had finally just snapped, in the locked position. Currently, we don’t even need to turn the handle to open the door, we just push. There may be a slight security risk in this feature. Also, the keyhole in the front door has similar tendencies toward not really protecting us from the elements. It is currently stuffed with an entire paper towel.

4. Attic insulation. Yeah, those bills.

5. A modicum of self control. Or maybe a passel. A fleet? A throng. At least a gaggle, anyway.

6. A new garden box. With compost, vermiculite, and peat.

7. An indoor seedling planting system. So as to populate the box.

8. (A chicken.)

9. Two new teeth. To replace the ones that have cracked fillings and are starting to be sensitive. In that, “Oh crap! Not another root canal” sort of way.

10. A maid.

11. A prioritized re-ordering of the above list.

* Need, here, is defined, not as a physical necessity, but more as a psychologically beneficial stepping stone on the path toward sanity.

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Phew.

OK, I really need to see a doctor. I’ve needed to pretty much since Kiki was born, almost two years ago. The single biggest obstacle to my not making an appointment is my mortal fear of calling the office on the phone. I have made one attempt, back in February, and was met with the dismaying news that the nurse practitioner I had been recommended was going on maternity leave until July, and was not accepting new patients.

But this has to stop. I have emotional/chemical things going on that are not pleasant, to say the least, and I need them fixed. Fixed, I say!

I specifically need to see someone who specializes in the symptoms, problems, and distresses of being female. I went to a group of midwives while we were in Utah, but it turns out that in Dayton, midwives are not so popular, and as such, not that great. I’ve been asking around, and no one can recommend a midwife, or even a female OB-GYN. My two new BFFs, both neighbors, have had wonderful experiences with their OB-GYNs, and gushed about how much they love them, but they’re both male.

There is something so incredibly icky to me in a man who never gets over that 12 year old desire to become a gynecologist. Please understand that I do not intend to offend anyone who has experience with male OB-GYNs, nor am I saying that all of them are there because of their adolescent curiosity in the opposite sex. I’m just uncomfortable with the whole idea. It just doesn’t seem normal to me.

So here’s the dilemma: Do I keep looking, and try to find a female doctor whom I can be more comfortable with, and possibly wait another 6 months to actually make the call, or do I take one of the recommendations, call a male doctor, and get myself fixed? (No, not fixed in that sense, just corrected.)

As I was harvesting green beans just now, Zeeb came barreling out of the back door and addressed me thus:

“Mind Control! Calvin’s being mean to Kiki!”

Remember that one rant I did a while ago about cosmetic surgery? Well here’s some more good reading that explains more of how I feel about human bodies and cultural expectations.

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