I don’t know how I feel about Le Blog right now. I don’t get all excited to post like I used to. I almost never think, during the course of the day, “Oh, that would make such a funny post!” I think I’ve come to terms with my un-hilarity.

On the other hand, all of you who read and commented on my last post, I don’t ever want to lose you. I wish we all lived on the same street (my street of course, because I live in Utopia). I really, really love you all. So, without further ado, lets talk about the new food guide pyramid that Derek and I have been cooking up.

I don’t have a graphic, but use your imagination. On the top of the pyramid, there are two sides of the point. One side is the bacon side, and the other is the ice cream side. Under the bacon side, and flowing outward, are all the foods that can be combined well with bacon, and under the ice cream side, all the foods that are made better by the addition of ice cream. Directly under the two is the miraculous selection of edibles that is improved by adding either ice cream or bacon, or even both. We feel certain that we can account for nearly every food on Earth in this manner.

For example, this morning, I’m preparing for the Thanksgiving feast with my contribution of pumpkin pie and “Harvest Nuts and Seeds”, a recipe from the Moosewood Restaurant that everyone should probably try right now. Anyway, both pumpkin pie and spiced, glazed nuts are pretty obvious candidates for ice cream. But, I bet a little chopped, cooked bacon would be a lovely addition to a bowl of candied nuts. A little salty, a little sweet! It sounds delicious to me. I don’t think I will ever add bacon to pumpkin pie, though. Unless it’s a savory pie. Like maybe a pumpkin quiche. That could definitely use some bacon.

So if you’ve gotten this far, maybe you love me well enough to commiserate with me on the fact that last week, after I’d put up the braggy post about my smart husband getting lauded at the Pentagon, Derek came home from work one day, having given a presentation for a conference of sorts, and informed me that the Air Force Chief Scientist had been there. You know, that one guy from Washington? The one in whose office we talked about squirrels? And who made me laugh by pretending to be a waiter? Yeah? Well, he approached Derek after the presentation, and said, “Hello Derek! It’s good to see you. I read your wife’s blog the other day.”

I don’t know if that’s a direct quote. It doesn’t actually matter. The groanings I made from within myself were loud enough to eclipse my memory of the words. It was worse than when I realized, after I turned in my sketchbook for my art class the next day, that I had forgotten to tear out the page where I had brainstormed for my abstract self portrait by listing as many words as I could think of to define myself, and then had asked Derek to list some, and had proceeded to write down his list, too. Which included “smokin’ hot.” That’s some kind of entertaining, right?

Happy Thanksgiving! I love you all.

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